I’m a mess too. But God…

The air was muggy but we didn't seem to mind.  We were all sitting in a semi-circle, our bodies tired and sweating from the Arkansas summer heat but our hearts full to the brim with love for each other.  I sat quietly, my bare feet feeling the earth beneath me, as I listened to the stories, the hardships, and the lessons my friends were sharing.  Some of the stories were not pretty.  Some of the hardships still contained hurt.  Some of the lessons learned still held memories of deep regret and pain.  Still, we laughed and cried as we vulnerably exposed imperfect pieces of our stories.  I sat there, moved by the way each person was pouring into another without fear of judgment or embarrassment.

Friends, we need more transparency.  We need real, biblical community.  As Christians, we need to be people willing to open up our hearts and lives in order to effectively minister to and equip others running the race.  As a mother, I need to be reminded that other mothers have struggled long and hard with the same decisions I struggle with; like bottle feeding vs. breastfeeding, vaccines, public schooling vs. homeschooling, and all manners of discipline.  I need to know that they, too, have agonized in prayer over defiant little attitudes in their home and they, too, grieve when their children are disobedient and unwilling to submit to authority.  I need to know that other women have had hard days when their marriage relationship wasn't optimal and they had to make a choice whether to persevere or give up.  I need to know and see other women wrestle to put to death their sin and daily trust in the work done on the cross.  I need to see it.  And you do too.

Over and over in Scripture, we see the call to unity and to live and operate as one body (1 Corinthians 12:25-27).  We are told to help carry each other's burdens, to encourage the downcast, to exhort the weary, to gently rebuke the wandering, to inspire the discouraged, and to love with patience, humility and selflessness (see Proverbs 27:17; Romans 12:9-21; Galatians 6:2; Ephesians 4:2-6; 1 Thessalonians 5:14; Hebrews 10:24-25; 1 Peter 3:8).  We can't do that effectively when we hold back and pretend we never want to pull our hair out over a screaming toddler or that we never give in to sinful patterns in our hearts.  I need to know I'm not alone in my fight against sin.  I need to be able to link arms with fellow sisters of the faith and grow together in the grace and knowledge of Jesus! There is beauty and power in that.

Of course, it is easy to pull a mask over our faces and try to convince the world - and ourselves - that we are fine and we have things together; that we are on top of meal planning, schooling, carpooling, wife-ing, mothering, working, cleaning and everything in between.  But we aren't helping anyone by pretending we have it all together.  In fact, it's the opposite. 

When we hide the rough edges and raw pieces, we are robbing ourselves of opportunities to disciple other women and be discipled by other women. 

We are choosing the path of pride instead of humility.  We are missing out on the bonding and sweet fellowship that comes when imperfect people look at one another and say, "I'm a mess too.  But God..."

Apart from the grace of God, I'm a mess like you, losing my temper when I should be patient and self-controlled, complaining about spilled grape juice on the floor when I should be grateful that I am able to serve my kids grape juice in the first place, and being lazy when I should be actively pursuing righteousness with all my heart.

You aren't alone in your pursuit of holiness. Isn’t it a good feeling to know that?