4 Steps to Becoming a Less Grumpy Mom

“Stop!” I yelled, “I can’t handle it anymore, you guys are driving me crazy. I can’t handle it! JUST STOP!” The room immediately went dead silent. Six pairs of eyes stared at me. One of those pairs was filling with tears. Immediately, shame washed over me. I hate this version of myself. The tone I used, the words I just spoke, and the volume in which I spoke them… I loathe it all. This is the worst of me and I just let it explode on the most precious people in my life. 

In my first few years of motherhood, I felt stuck being a grumpy mom. I didn’t want to gripe and groan at my kids, but I did. A lot. Over the past few years, I’ve learned that there is a better way. There is a step by step guide God gives us that leads to better days. I want to share it with you. Here are 4 Steps to Becoming a Less Grumpy Mom: 

1. Stop Making Excuses.
   
   The number one reason I remained a grumpy mom for years was my refusal to accept responsibility for my words and actions. I always wanted to blame it on others. I yelled because it was the only way to get the toddlers’s attention. I was impatient because the preschooler broke the same rule for the 100th time before breakfast. I was angry because life’s stressors were heavy and I didn’t feel capable of being kind.
   
   I clung fiercely to those excuses for years. Then, one day I stopped. No matter what my kids did and no matter what life threw at me, I accepted the responsibility to mother well. And do you know what happened? I went from reacting to every problem that arose through the day to setting the tone of our home through every high and low. Sometimes I still messed up. Which led me to step two.
   

2. Repent.
   
   When I began to acknowledge that impatience, anger, and explosions of frustration were wrong reactions I realized I needed to deal with them before the Lord. I felt a lot like David did in Psalm 32:3-4. He says when he kept silent about his sin, “my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me.” The accumulation of my bad-tempered words was eating away at me. And I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me time after time. How beautiful it is that the very next verse offers this resolution, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”
   
   Spending a quiet moment before the Lord admitting my error and asking for his forgiveness has been the most pivotal step in actually turning my day around from grumpy to great.
   

3. Reconcile.
   
   The next step is all about mending the relationship between me and my little ones. If I skip this step, it’s almost like we’re all holding our breath for the rest of the day. But if I come to them and say, “Mommy shouldn’t have said that. I’m very sorry. I never want to make you upset with my words and I’m working on doing better. Will you forgive me?” Then we can all exhale in relief. Our kids feel it when we leave tension unattended in our relationship with them. Reconciliation releases the tension and brings peace again.
   

4. Repeat Steps 1-3.
   
   There’s no such thing as a perfect mom. Grumpy moments happen regularly at my house still, but the steps above help me turn them around before they steal an entire day. Curb your excuses, repent, and reconcile as many times as you need to. God has better plans for your day than for you to be stuck in anger and frustration.