The Weight of Motherhood Isn't All On Your Shoulders
Do you have a vision for your motherhood? Do you feel like or believe everything depends on you? If you don't do everything right, do you believe your children will turn out all wrong? Many times we overestimate and put too much weight on ourselves as mothers. Weight we were never meant to carry.
Myth #7: Motherhood is the Luck of the Draw
Many moms walk in the belief that motherhood is the luck of the draw and our children will just turn out how they turn out -- but nothing could be further from the truth.
Neglecting to have a vision for motherhood is akin to leaving our children up to chance.
But having a vision, creating goals, and being intentional is what helps shape our children--not into our image, but the image of Christ.
“Parents, whether they realize it or not, are parenting with some kind of vision. That vision drives their priorities and determines what they say yes or no to. But is it God’s vision?
As parents, our understanding of ‘the right picture’ needs to be more biblically defined than culturally informed.”
Myth #8: Everything Depends on Me
We live in a culture that is driven by independence and as a result, we believe everything for our children has to be done by us and everything our children learn and become has to be from us.
That's a lot of pressure!!
Don't get me wrong -- being a mother has it's own pressures by itself. But the belief that everything depends on us isn't only prideful, it can be destructive. God never expects us to mother alone nor does he expect everything our children becomes to be by or from us.
“It doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes a parent, guided by God, and a little help from whomever He sends your child’s way. Just be prayerful. And be careful. And willing to trust God to draw their hearts to His, even if in the drawing a little detour is needed along the way.”
If our children could get everything they needed from us and only depend on us, what need for God would they have? They should be taught to rely on God more than us.
Myth #9: I Have to Do It Right, or My Child Will Turn Out Wrong
I think a lot of moms get hung up here. I know I have. I was a parenting book junkie -- reading all the parenting books that promised me I'd have perfectly behaved, perfectly disciplined children as long as I did X, Y, and Z. The one thing I didn't take into account, though, is that I would need to mother perfectly to gain such results and that just didn't happen.
It's no wonder why I was so confused about the reasons my children didn't behave as the experts promised. It's not that my children are monsters -- but they are children and they are human. And like all humans, they have a sin-nature, a childishness, and an immaturity.
It's not about parenting perfectly -- but it is about being in tune with your children, their needs, and God's leading. Every child, every family is unique.
“Discouragement can creep in when you feel like you’re failing. We grow weary when we sense we aren’t getting through to our kids. We feel like we are disciplining for the same misbehavior over and over again.
We fear they are never going to learn that lesson, correct that attitude, or change their mind. As moms, we can feel like we are losing battle after battle sometimes.
As moms, we need to have the perspective that this parenting gig is for the long haul. We can’t judge the results or declare a final verdict too soon.”
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