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Dear Stay-At-Home-Mom Who Doesn't Know How to Manage Her Home

Dear Stay-At-Home-Mom Who Doesn't Know How to Manage Her Home

Did you prepare to become a mom? Many of us took time to study and plan for a vocation but we never anticipated learning skills that would help us care for our homes and our families- but that doesn't mean we can't start now!

A Note to Young Stay at Home Moms,

Have you ever had a job that you had NO experience in? 

Usually, people chose professions or vocations that they have training in, or aspire to. Most people pursue careers in something they have a personal desire to be or do.

So, May I ask you some pinpointed questions to reflect on?

Did you always dream of being a stay at home mom?

Do you feel prepared for homemaking, being a wife, and a mother?

Did you receive training as a young woman, from your mother, grandmother, or even in college for this vocation choice?

The reality is that most women, when asked, openly confess that they had no idea what they were doing when they got married.

Now, from a career perspective, is it FUN being thrown into a new position with no training? Maybe for some personalities who thrive when they are challenged. But the majority of people just feel overwhelmed. 

Let’s just say that you are one of those young wives or moms who never received any homemaking training, how are you liking being at home? 

Do you find yourself always wanting to leave because you just don’t like being at home? 

Do you eat out a lot because you don’t know how to cook?

It’s an age old truth that women have a sacred influence in their homes. My great grandmother used to say, “If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy!”

The truth is that the woman is the one who has the power to set the atmosphere in her home! If she doesn’t like being there, doesn’t know what to do, what her job description is, or even where to search for training, this young stay at home woman can become overwhelmed or feel like she isn’t living on purpose. In fact, her perspective of “stay-at-home-moms” could become extremely judgemental based upon how she felt when she “tried” to be home. 

My point is this, if you don’t know what to do on your job, you are not going to like it. 

If you do not have a purpose in your home, in the daily management, in the calling and privilege it is to set the tone and atmosphere, you will not delight in it, and the atmosphere will follow how you “feel” about what you do or don’t do.

And if you have children, their attitudes will reflect your feelings. 

Children are like little mirrors!

In fact, Moms, if we want our daughters to want to be at home, we better do our best to represent the role well. 

They are not going to want to be a stay-at-home-mom if they witness us being stressed out all the time or unable to manage the home and schedule of the family.

I know this may be convicting, but I want to encourage you now because there is a bright side to this! 

If you are one of the sister’s, who like me, was completely unprepared for motherhood, homemaking, and juggling all the plates that come with being a stay-at-home wife and mom, there is HOPE!

You just need to DECIDE to pursue growth. And the options are endless! Pick a topic, pick a book or blog!

This is your jurisdiction. Actually, whether you are a stay-at-home woman or not, many homemaking tasks probably fall in your jurisdiction. As biblical women, we have the honor of serving our husband and children. 

If you don’t know how to do something, go buy a book on it or ask an older mom in your church to teach you how. 

I have had MANY mentors in my life. Some that taught me how to homeschool, some who encouraged me as a wife, some who taught me practical homemaking skills like sewing, and baking. And some of those mentors were virtual ones who I gleaned massive content and skills from through books. 

This is the coolest aspect of being a CEO of your home: YOU GET TO LEARN WHATEVER YOU WANT OR NEED TO KNOW. AND, you can become an EXPERT at it! 
All it takes is you being honest with yourself about your short comings and what you don’t know and being brave enough to ask for guidance and help. 

On a side note, I would encourage you to enjoy the journey. You get a HUGE opportunity for growth, but also for modeling for your children a delight in learning. If you want to cultivate a love for learning in your home it STARTS with you. If your kids see you being intentional about learning new recipes, for example, and enjoying making meals for your family, guess what they will most likely mimic? 

I know this culture has given stay-at-home moms a bad rap. They are often disrespected and unappreciated, but I am here to tell you that you can be just as educated, crafty, creative, and even an EXPERT at any given topic or task you want. Be creative and enjoy the gift that being at home can be! 

Be Courageous,

Angie Tolpin, The Courageous Mom

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