All tagged guilt

At our family reunion this summer, we talked the grandmas into trying out the kayaks. Donning a life jacket, Grandma Bena climbed in, and we handed her a paddle. She dug the paddle into the water on both sides. What am I doing wrong? she said. I’m not going anywhere.

Paddle harder, we said.

She paddled harder.

She was growing frustrated, while all the rest of us started laughing. Her daughter was holding onto the back of the kayak. No matter how hard Bena paddled, she wasn’t going to get anywhere.

This is how parenting can be in the empty nest years.

If I knew that slowing down to say hello to a fellow mom could land me in such a pool of mommy guilt, I would have kept on going. She started off the conversation with a rather innocent question, but before I knew what happening, one of my comments opened up a door to an accusation I never saw coming . . . and that triggered an onslaught of mommy guilt.  I nodded along with a smile on my face, but but on the inside, I was on the brink of tears and feeling like a failure as a mom.  

Guilt has the power wreck us, but God’s grace always has the upper hand when we yield to His truth. {click to tweet}

I pressed on with the details of the evening, feeling icky and wishing I could go home. All I wanted to do was talk to my husband, and yet looking back, I’m so glad that was not an option. Instead, I ended up emptying my heart before the Lord each time the emotions rose up inside of me.