When You're Failing at Motherhood and Everything Else {times ten}

I hear often from other moms who feel like they're failing and on the verge of letting all the balls drop. 

Let me be completely honest with you.

I usually have at least one situation that arises each day, every couple days, or I'll just go ahead and say somedays it's multiple times a day, that sends a wave of failure over me. Something happens or multiple events rain down like the pipes freeze in the old farmhouse or that time I Clogged Up the Kitchen Plumbing with 8 Feet of Spaghetti Noodles. 

Is it okay to say aloud that sometimes things just seem like an overwhelming mess? I feel like I'm messing this all up (literally down to the kitchen plumbing) and I'm failing at this marriage, motherhood, homeschooling, homemaking, child raising, fill-in-the-blank thing. 

“This picture doesn’t look real. I left them alone for three minutes while I went to answer the phone…”

I know I’m not alone. As moms we have so much that we carry in our hearts. So very much love and good intentions that we desire to pour out. We have these beautiful pictures of what we’d like the day to be. Then we have the reality that somedays those expectations fly out the window along with our goal of finishing a cup of coffee before it gets cold (or a random set of tongs end up in the coffee).

Totally normal happenings around here: The beans explode in the microwave at lunch time.  We go to leave and remember that the van hasn’t been cleaned out in weeks. There’s physical limitations that attempt to dominate. A busy toddler draws on the walls. And then there’s that moment when I realize the homeschool workboxes have exploded, but the week is already moving full steam ahead and yeah, all of that x 10. 

And here’s the thing. I’m going to fail. I do fail. You’re going to fail. Let’s just accept that it’ll raise its ugly head. How do we handle our failures? How do we own our best intentions turning into devastating blunders that try to steal our joy and cloud our vision?  

Three Thoughts To Remember When You Feel Like You’re Failing at Motherhood and Everything Else {times ten}

1.) Jesus will not let you (or me) have it all together. If we had it all together; the schedule, the homeschool, cleaning, cooking, marriage, parenting, insert anything _________________ here, would we still need Jesus? Would be cling to him like mad women? If I wasn’t desperate would I write verses on my hand to drill in my brain all day?

In 7 Personal Routines to Help a Momma Feel Human I share that writing my goals out for each day on a white board helps me greatly. I have my list of good intentions and priorities. Many goals I hit.  But truth be told there are always items I don’t get to. A blunder here. Some crayon on the wall there. In the times when a wave of failure tries to sweep over me I hand that crashing wave back to Jesus and say, “Lord, take this from me. I give this ____________ thing to you. I surrender my life to your will.“

And He’s so very good. He reminds me often,

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9  (NLT)

2.) Ask Jesus to help you. All the time friends. All the time. Not only do I regularly run #handverses in my head, and repeat that verse in my mind over and over again through out the day, I often stop what I’m doing and ask Jesus to help me. I need his help, guidance, wisdom, and grace. I cannot do this, any of it, without Him and Him alone. If our house starts feeling junky, children are fussing, I feel weary, and the failure wave tries to swoop through; I’ll have us all stop and pray. “Jesus help us. We need you to fill our day. Change our hearts. Direct our steps.” There’s not a thing wrong with stopping your family in the middle of everything and praying. I do it often because we need it! 

3.) Do your best to redeem the day. Move on. There are days when you just need to start over. Get the family outside for some fresh air for a bit. Pull everyone together on the couch for some read aloud time. Get some great worship music playing. Have a meal at the table together as a family and make time for family Bible time. Take what hours are left in that day, and purposefully decide to make those your best. 

In closing friend I would have you take away that all moms have their moments. Even if those are frustrated moments that no ones sees but you and the Lord, deep within your soul. It’s by handing your daily struggles to the Lord that He can refine you, and continue to grow you, for His glory through your motherhood journey. You’re not alone. He has you. 

Blessings,
Jamerrill Stewart