3 Ways To Love A Growing Tween

I am not exactly sure when it happened, but one day I woke up and realized that my oldest daughter and I were now standing eye to eye. I will admit that I realized it was bound to happen soon, being that I only stand right at five feet tall!

This new vantage point feels strange.  However, it is just the evidence of what I already knew to be true.

She is growing. 

With each new inch, I am reminded that growing involves adjustments, has it’s challenges and requires copious amounts of compassion.

She’s becoming taller, wiser and more mature. I love observing her, as her heart expands and wraps itself around the lives that surround her. She loves so well.

I get such pleasure from listening to her voice as it gains confidence. She’s seeking her Creator and becoming bold in His truth.

I love seeing her strength, watching her beauty and witnessing her development.

But can I be honest?

Parenting a growing tween involves a level of emotional and mental work that I am not always prepared to expend.

With my sweet girl—some weeks—some days are hard.

She’s growing and so am I.  

She is 11, and with that come a load of unexplainable emotional waves—highs and lows. Lots of laughs, intriguing conversations, tender moments and mood swings.

I am 35, and with that comes a load of unexplainable emotional waves—highs and lows, lots of laughs, intriguing conversations, tender moments and mood swings.

If I am not careful I find myself impatiently correcting her tone, abruptly disciplining her actions, and intolerantly hushing her words.

It becomes easy to miss the beauty that is actually happening.

After all, having a front row seat to what God is doing in her life is a gift.

I don’t want to miss it.

She needs correction, she needs encouragement and she needs grace.

Recently I have been reminded that so do I.

She is not alone.

I am grateful for a Father that looks me in the eye, calls my name personally and graciously holds my hand as He pulls me deeper into His love.

I am convinced that one of the most impactful things I can do while mothering my growing girl is to model what it looks like to be a growing woman.

When she looks me in the eye, I want her to see the love of Christ. When our weeks are hard and our days are long, I want her to feel the tug of His hand on her heart.

In the midst of changes and in the midst of challenges, I want to love her like He loves me.

These 3 Scriptures remind me of how Christ shows His love for us and how He expects me to show His love to her.

1. Offer Encouragement

God gives a hand to those down on their luck,

    gives a fresh start to those ready to quit.

Psalm 145:14 (MSG)

2. Discipline in Love

It’s the child he loves that God corrects;

    a father’s delight is behind all this.

Proverbs 3:12 (MSG)

3. Offer a chance for change.

On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing.

1 John 1:9 (MSG)

Parenting is a journey that ultimately leads us closer to the Father. 

Journeying Together,

Wynter Pitts, For Girls Like You